This Easter,

Use the Force.

(Exaltation Transference Pellets will be available to attain an orgasm without the messiness of physical contact. )

Another Stella Production

BattleStar Trojans. Easter Hockey Festival

21st -24th March 2008

A stella(r) Weekend?

Last year, Disneyland Trojans saw some hockey, lots of sunshine and £7,500 of beer drunk (mostly Mickey’s magical purple potion)

The theme this year is Battlestar Trojans, where we have ‘space’ for up to 16 Mixed teams over the weekend.

So if you want to travel back in time, at the speed of light, or just go far, far away, this could be the weekend for you….

BattleStar Trojans

For those of you with metaphysical leanings, Battlestar Trojans, when docked, covers about 16 acres of Hampshire, it is a fully functional 1874S0 type 22 space cruiser, with two on site Astro fields.

When not travelling at light speed through the universe, Battlestar Trojans is a multi sports club, which has its advantages at an Easter hockey festival. The floodlit rugby pitch makes a perfect camp site (included in the price), whilst the three on-site bars, function rooms and numerous changing rooms and squash courts provide for the full range of hockey festival opportunities.

The Hockey Far far away

For one weekend only, Battlestar Trojans is docking at the Junction of the M3 and M27, less than 1 mile from Southampton Airport, and Southampton Airport Parkway. We have a small space shuttle, and can pick you up from the airport, or the mainline railway station which is next door. (SO50 9HT)

The nearest rocket pad is in Kazakhstan.

We’re not picking you up from there.

www.southamptonairport.com

Recently Flybe have started using Southampton as a major base www.flybe.com, and you can fly to Southampton from most of the UK, and abroad very cheaply.

Battlestar Trojans, is a self contained space vehicle. Food will be available all weekend, you can buy a 16 pint bucket of Pan-Galactic GargleBlaster to help equilibrate to our atmosphere, and all the games are on site.

If you don’t want to camp there is a premier travel lodge, and a holiday inn about a mile away. – We can supply further details. In addition to our sand dressed astro, our neighbours have a water based astro, which is within a 2 minute walk of ours.

We can accommodate a maximum of 16 teams, which must have a minimum of 11 players, and non-playing guests are welcome at half price.

The all inclusive ticket?

The all inclusive space ticket costs £30 per head, for each team member.

This includes the on-site camping, entry to each night’s entertainment, at least five games, with qualified umpires and transport to and from the airport, railway station, or landing pad.

It doesn’t include food, which will be available all day, primordial space soup, which comes in a variety of colours, (mainly purple, but one year we ran out of purple and lime was very popular), or accommodation in any of the local travel taverns.

Battle Star Trojans. Easter Hockey Festival

21st-24th March 2008

A Brief History of Time

Friday

Turn up and check in around lunchtime.

We can pick you up from Southampton Airport or Southampton Airport Parkway Railway station, both of which are under a mile away.

Park lunar rover and set up tented basecamp.

Food available all day.

Everyone plays at least one game in afternoon.

Tournament Game – Barbarella’s vs Pigs in Space

Disco. Boldly drink what no man has drunk before.

Bar Closes 2am.

Retire to tented basecamp

Saturday

Wake up in a tent. Wonder where you are. Hans Solo.

Breakfast available until lunchtime. Food and bar available all day.

Pool Games throughout the day, from 10am, in hour long slots, 25 mins each way.

Games finish about 6pm.

8.00pm The Enterprise takes off – Please feel free to wear a traditional outfit of your species.

Disco and Live band

Top prizes for best individual outfit, and best team effort. Set phasers to stun.

Meet your Venus (de Milo) and retire to base camp for complicated docking procedure

Sunday

Wake up. With Venus (Williams). Wonder where you are (again)

Breakfast available until lunchtime and again, food and drink all day.

Final Pool Games, and play-offs, from 10am.

Final on main astro at approx. 5pm

8.00pm The Beagle has landed

Disco and presentation of awards

Final chance to crash and burn

Monday

Re-Entry. Swap phone numbers and go home…

Battlestar trojans. Easter Hockey Festival

21st-24th March 2008

And now the serious bit! The Captains log

If you are interested in coming, or need any more information, please call Obi-Wan on 01794 341793 , who can answer any of your questions, or email battlestartrojans@yahoo.co.uk

To confirm one of the spaces we need a deposit of £15 per person, with the complete amount paid by the end of February, and the following form filled in. This is on a first come first served basis, so if you don’t get your deposit in quickly you might miss out. We only have docking facilities for 16 space buses, and each space bus must have a minimum of 11 passengers.

Crew Name…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Playing Colour……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Main contact details…(name)…………………………………………………………………………..

(email)…………………………………………………………………………..

(phone)………………………………………………………………………….

Name Name 1

9 2

10 3

11 4

12 5

13 6

14 7

15 8

16

All Cheques should be made payable to Trojans Hockey Club and sent to:
Trojans HC, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh, Hampshire SO50 9HT.

The minimum deposit per team is £165. We can’t have more than 16 space cadets per team, but non-playing life-forms are welcome to come along at half-price. You don’t need to bring an Empire, sorry – umpire.

There are some rules you will have to abide by – no open fires on site, no glass bottles on site, no fireworks, but apart from that anything goes.

Thanks

Obi-Wan (occasionally known as Rob)